The Real Reason
by Twice DeFun
Summary: This is the REAL Reason snape doesn't like Sirius... Sort of Twisted and Messed Up. Please R/R!


Hello Everybody! Do you know what I really don't like? Those romance stories. They just don't seem  
to appeal to me. So... I decided to write this story it is OOC, I did that intentionally.  
Disclaimer: The Following story I own absoulutly nothing that you may have seen before. That means that if you have seen any of these words before... I don't own them.  
So... lets begin!  
  
Sirius loved the way she looked. How her face looked when it was stretched back. How her eyes were fierce with rage when she got mad at him. How she had a slight overbite. It was true she was perfect.  
  
"I'm going to ask her!" He repeated over and over to himself in the shower. About 8 minutes in the shower, or 400 chantings later, he got out of the shower. All he was doing was thinking about HER, so he completely forgot to put a towel on. He went straight to the mirror, unfogged it, and said   
"Sirius old boy, your looking sharp today. Today's the day!" Just then he felt something hit him on the butt.   
"What the f...?" he started to say as he turned around. "Oh, its just you silly old chap." he said to Remus.  
"Hey Sirius, you little corn muffin, have you come to your senses and decided to come out of the closet?" whispered Remus.  
"No, laddie, I haven't, I will be gay the day that I escape from Azkaban."  
"So there is still a hope." Remus smiled to himself as he started to walk away. Sirus just realized that he was standing there naked, but, ever since he went through puberty, he didn't mind it so much. So with that he left the boy's bathroom, and sauntered to his bedroom to put some clothes on.  
"I sure hope she sees me. Seeing how big my package is." Sirius said while picking up a gift he recently got. As soon as he got to the sleeping pad he hurriedly got some clothes on and went to eat breakfast.  
A miraculous thing appeared before his eyes when he entered the Great Hall. The seat next to HER was still available.   
"MINERVA!" Sirius screamed. "SAVE THAT SEAT FOR ME!"  
"WHAT DID YOU SAY? YOU HAVE A BLADDER INFECTION?" she hollered back.  
"Where the hell did you get that from?" he thought to himself.  
"I SAID.. Sah ave... TH ATT... SEE EAT.. FOR.. MEEEE!!!!"  
"SORRY, IT'S TAKEN!" replied Minerva just as Lily sat down next to her. By now the whole hall was silent and staring at Sirius.  
"Oh the bitch," he thought to himself, "Yet, she is so perfect and wonderful when she does stuff like that, oh, I wish she did it more often. *sigh*"   
As the day went on he couldn't wait for potions class. Though that was Sirius's worst class. The reason why he was so anxious for the site, was, you guessed it, he sat next to Minerva. Finally, what seemed like hours (which it actually was) Potions rolled by.  
"This is the time, hun!" he thought. He ran into the empty classroom and sat down in his seat. Proffesor Grape instantly yelled "10 points from Gryfondoodle, or whatever that insane name is!"  
"Why Proffesor Grape, why?!"  
"Because," the old man mumbled "you were late, now see now, a whole class, everyone left, you came in and its over!"  
"No, Proffesor G, I ain't late yo, I'm early. Ya know what I'm saying? Old School."  
"Yes this is an old school, sonny, now stop yacking." Just then the whole class started filing in and sitting down. Don Measly and Larry Botter sat right in front of him.   
During class Sirius wrote on a piece of parchment and slipped it to Minerva. It read:  
Meet me tonight by the Whomping Willow.  
Sirius  
As soon as she read it she gave Sirius a suspicious look.   
"Its for real" he mouthed. She nodded.   
"Botter!" Proffesor Grape said all a sudden, "What would you get if I added mushy stem of daisy to an infusion of woodlywood?"  
"I don't know, old man." Larry replied.   
"I may be old but... AH MY HEART!" Professor Grape said while clutching his chest. All a sudden Grape yelled  
"Abracadbra Larry and Don!" and Larry and Don instantly fell to the ground dead. "HEHEHEHEHE!" the professor laughed maniacally.  
"Classed dismissed!" Everyone started to clap.  
"That's the 3rd time this week." James said to Sirius on the way out. "Whatever he's on I want it!"   
That night Minerva saved Sirius a seat.   
"I want to thank y'all for saving me a seat, ya hear?" Sirius said to Minerva as he sat down. Sirius barely ate anything that night. All of dinner time he just watched how SHE smacked her jaws when she ate. Licked her fingers. Burped. Cleaned her plate with her tongue. Any bad manner at the dinner table she had it.  
"I wish all women ate how she does." Sirius thought to himself. (He was being serious) As soon as dinner was done he whispered to her  
"11:00 PM , be there." At 10:45 he left his room. Sirius opened up the door to get out to reveal Minerva waiting for him outside it.  
"Hey Min, thanks for waiting for me! I got a cloak we can use!" They both got under it and walked together to the Willow. Sirius then suddenly revealed a long stick from under his cloak and used it to poke the knot. They both went into the tree down down down to the little shack.   
"What is this place?" Minerva asked Sirius as they finally got to the Shrieking shack.   
"Makeout Shack." he replied.  
All a sudden the two made eye contact. Slowly they inched forward closed there and started to French kiss. All a sudden, Minerva could feel in her mouth Sirius's tongue suddenly expand. It now felt all gross, slimy, and WAY TO big. She opened up her eyes .There in front of her was a big black dog whose TONGUE was in her mouth.   
"AHHHHHHH!!!!" she screamed. Then the dog, who was Sirius, couldn't control himself anymore. So he went on his hind legs wrapped his paws around Minerva's legs and started humping her.   
"AHHHH! GET AWAY!!! SIRIUS!!!!! AHHH!!!!" Minerva tried to run away, but the big dog was still humping her. She got one of her legs free and kicked Sirius in the face and ran to the tunnel.  
As she got it she crawled/ran as fast as she could. As she was leaving her polyjuice potion wore off to reveal Severus Snape.  
This is the real reason why Snape doesn't like Sirius.  
  
******  
Did you like it? Please review. Flames are being accepted. 


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